Update...Again

Obviously, blogging isn't really my thing.  I think it could be, but it just hasn't been a very high priority these last few months.  I could go on and on about busyness, but anyone reading this is probably in the same boat.  Just wanted to give a quick update.
Baby A has been with us for 5 months.  I thought about this while I rocked him to sleep tonight and wondered how many miles we have rocked these 5 months!  He is such a sweet boy.  We had to get up at 4:00 am to prepare for an EEG his neurologist wanted to do to rule out seizures.  Our instructions were to keep him awake and one nurse even said if he falls asleep, we will have to reschedule!  Scottie and I were both up with him and then took turns taking short naps.  Keeping him awake was pretty easy at first, but got more difficult as the morning went on!  Our appointment wasn't until after 10:00 am so you can imagine...6 hours of keeping a sleepy toddler awake!!  Some of our tactics were eating, walking outside into the chilly air, playing with all sorts of toys and a cold, wet paper towel on the head and face!  They worked well!  Things got really tough when we left for the appointment. A wanted to go immediately to sleep in the car.  Scottie had to task of keeping him awake there.  I had a hard time not speeding to hurry to the appointment!  Long story short, the appointment was a success.  It was not easy for this momma to sit and watch the tech glue 24 electrodes to his sweet head while he fussed and cried.  When the test was over, we thought he would go right back to sleep, but he surprised us all by staying awake!  We drove over to Mad Pizza (one of my favorite places to eat) for lunch.  A stayed awake through lunch and even munched on some ham and cheese.  He did take a great nap this afternoon after we got him home and cleaned up (he still had some glue in his hair).
Christmas was so much fun!  We haven't had a little guy for a while, so it was a fun experience.  He got some wonderful gifts from family, friends and Casa.  We have had a wonderful time together as a family this year, for sure!
We went to court recently and will have baby A for a while.  It's tough to know how to pray.  It is even tougher not to be selfish.  I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't mine.  He is in DHS custody and I'm a third party raising him for the time being.  Our goal is still reunification.  We pray for God's will everyday for this little guy's life and want whatever is best for him, even if that means we don't get to keep him.
The new year holds lots of promise and excitement for our family.  We can't wait to see what's ahead!  Happy New Year!!

Update

It's been a long day.We had court today and I had no idea how exhausting it would be.  For all of us.
I am thankful today for a judge who sincerely has the best interest of children in mind day after day.
I am thankful today for a system, though flawed, seeks to protect children of all ages.
I am thankful today for an incredible and supportive family who I love dearly and they love me.
I am thankful today that God put me in a family who loved me and took care of me.
I am thankful today for a network of friends who love me and my family.
I am thankful today that God has called me to be a mommy to children I did not give birth to.
I am thankful today my own son is able to love other children just like they were his siblings.
I am thankful today that God is always with us equipping me for every good work.
I am thankful today for so many reasons.  Too many to name them all.
Most of all, I'm thankful for this crazy journey we are on.  I am learning to trust God more and take it one day at a time.  I am also learning to be prepared for anything at any moment!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.   Romans 8:28

What Can You Do?

I have been thinking a lot this week about foster care and the church.  I have read James 1:27 a bunch of times.  Yesterday I read foster children referred to as "American orphans" and it took my breath.  It is so true.  I just read this post and was brought to tears.  There is so much you can do to help, to bless, to love foster families.  You don't have to become a foster parent to love foster children and support families who care for them.  You can help be Jesus to these precious little ones, too.  So, I ask...what can you do?? 

County Fair

Henry had his first opportunity to show a sheep at the Washington County Fair this week!  It was very exciting.  And as you can see from his expression, even though he was a total rookie, he was all business.  He was very serious and even though his sheep (not really his, just the one he got to lead) didn't win, he was really proud.  And he got a free t-shirt!

Back To School!!

The last 2 weeks have been unbelievable.  Getting back into the routine of going back to school is always a bit challenging, but throw a baby into the mix and it's downright silly!  I really don't know if I can sit here and actually recall everything that has happened.  Let's just say that every time the phone rings we hold our breath and say a prayer.

Henry's first day back started off like this:

And ended something like this:

I had just stopped and picked up dinner at Wal-Mart (a rotisserie chicken, frozen veggies and Steam and Mash mashed potatoes).  The cashier even made a crack about my purchases being an easy dinner.  I was driving to the after school program to pick up Henry, literally down the street when the director called and told me "Henry has fallen off the monkey bars."  And I knew.  I knew the evening of an "easy dinner" and stories about our first day was out the window.  When I got there I could tell he was in a lot of pain.  Bless his heart.  I called his pediatrician and they told me they don't do x-rays after 5:00 (it was just after) and said we should got to the ER.  Yeah right.  Not if I can help it!  I wasn't about to make my baby wait for hours and hours!  We picked up the baby from daycare and headed to the Mediserv Clinic on Wedington.  I cannot say enough good things about this place.  They have been there for us so many times on the weekends and after hours.  Thankfully, they do x-rays, too!  He had fractured his arm and would need to get a cast.  Through it all he was very brave. 

The nurse said we would be going to see the orthopedist the next morning and they put a temporary brace on his arm.  I called a sub for the next day (2nd day of school, no doubt) and planned to take him with Scottie to get his cast.  But they didn't set the appointment until the FOLLOWING day, which meant I would also miss the 3rd day of school.  Not a great way to start off the year for H or me!  But family always comes first.  Always.  The baby had a check-up scheduled that Scottie was going to take him to, but I ended up being able to do it.  He had a runny nose so we had that checked out, but were told it was viral and he would be fine.

H got his super awesome blue cast on Wednesday and couldn't wait to get back to school.  Scottie and I took the opportunity for a lunch out together after he was back at school and I had plans for a nap.  As I laid down in my bed the phone rang.  It was daycare.  The baby had a fever and needed to be picked up within the hour.  What?!  So off I went.  Which also meant he couldn't return the following day because he has to be fever free for 24 hours before returning.  Oh my.  I had to get back to school!  I hadn't even seen my 6th graders yet and it was nearly the 4th day of school!  Crazy.  In steps Grama and saves the day!  She agreed to keep him at her house and poor on the TLC Thursday and Friday so I could return to work.  What a lifesaver!  The week seemed to end alright after all.  I was thinking this week had to be better that last week!  Monday seemed to start out well enough even though the baby had been kind of restless the night before.  Then the phone rang at school.  It was daycare again and the fever had returned.  Really?!  Scottie went to pick him up and I made a doctor's appointment.  Turns out he now has a sinus infection and the beginnings of an ear infection.  Here we go again.  Our friend, Kelly, graciously agreed to keep him for us at her house.  Yet another lifesaver!!  She even made us dinner!!

I am really hoping we are on our way up.  After all that has happened, it is hard to say for sure.  But I am definitely being optimistic!

Update

As I type, a precious baby is asleep in his crib down the hall. 
He has crawled all over this house today, cruised all around our living room furniture (he's getting quite good at it), eaten some yummy baby food, had a few poopy diapers and made a trip to Wal-Mart.  Whew!
Baby M. has been with us for a week now. 
We are having the best time!

Scottie attended the first hearing this week which went well.  He was able to talk to baby M.'s mom and reassure her that he is safe and doing very well.  There was a possibility he might go with a family member next week, but that has fallen through, so he will likely be with us for a little while.  We are tickled to have him as long as we can!

God is doing some amazing things in my heart and in our family through this little guy.  We are trusting Him for what is best and praying for him and his family.  We are all growing though this experience.

I have been asked by several people lately, "How can you do it?  How can you get attached and then have to give them back?" and even, "What do you do if you get one you wanna keep and have to give it back?"  I have had to think about my answer to these questions.  Here is what I have come up with:  It's not about me.  It's not about what I selfishly want.  Becoming a foster parent is the opposite of selfish.  We are giving up time, energy, money, sleep, comfort - you name it -  for children who's parents who have made poor choices.  I am not allowed to be selfish in this whatsoever.  And that's why it's a calling.  I sensed God calling us to adoption on November 3, 2010, but had no idea at the time what that would look like.  We have such a peace that this is exactly what He wants for us to do right now.  Even though it's not easy (what about the Christian life is??  Really??), God is in control.  This is all His.  These precious children are His.  I am just being Jesus to them for a little while.  What an amazing opportunity we have!

So, there.  That's how I feel about it.  We still feel called to adoption, but know that baby M. may not be our "forever child."  If he's not we will give him back when it's time.  We pray that God gives us the grace to give him back and we know we will be sad.  But we also know that means our "forever child" is out there and we will keep loving children through Jesus until we get to him or her.

Brothers (part 2)

Another call came last week. 
Thursday at 8:00 am, to be exact.
It's amazing how one phone call can change EVERYTHING.

The DHS worker said there was a baby boy who needed placement.  A baby!  I told her I would talk it over with Scottie and call her back.  In a matter of moments, we had a critical decision to make.  We were both groggy and still sitting in the bed talking things over and praying (sounded something like..."God - what do we do??").  See, we were leaving the next day for a wedding in Mountain Home where we would both be singing and I would be playing the piano.  We also knew I would be in Hot Springs for a few days at the ARKCDA Convention.  We were trying to figure out how to make it work and I kept thinking about The CALL video where everyone was too busy to take a little girl.  I couldn't be that person!  I called my mom and she agreed to step in while I was away.  We could make it work!  I was excited to call DHS back and say yes!

I picked up baby M. later that day.  What a precious little boy!  He has the most amazing smile and is so, so happy.  We took him with us to the wedding where he charmed our friends and they fell in love with him instantly.  We have had to adjust to making bottles, changing diapers, baby food, spitting up, teething, diaper rash, rocking to sleep, etc. again.  It's been 8 years!!  But we have settled into our new routine with him and it has been so much fun!  Henry is an INCREDIBLE big brother.  He is so helpful and encouraging (he gave me a high five today and told me, "good job, mom!" after I was able to rock M. back to sleep after he woke up hungry from his nap!).  This little guy has captured our hearts!

We do not know what is ahead and we are waiting for word on his hearing.  We are praying for him and his family and enjoying him for as long as we have him! 

We are so blessed to be on this special journey.  We can't wait to see what God has in store.